Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
