and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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