i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
