Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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