i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
PANTIES FOUND
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
