So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need a beard to bite.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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