Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
