Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
