I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
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Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize