We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
