I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i think my cat just said my name.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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