I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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