Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
