Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we made out on top of his cat.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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