what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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