She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
