when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
