SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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