Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
