There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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