I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
