I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
