whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize