i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize