the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
