do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
id be glad to
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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