Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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