She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
