your room smells of hookers.
And success
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
third nipple confirmed
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
