The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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