Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
