got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
