Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize