She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize