the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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