I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My feet surprised me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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