I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
