Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
