i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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