did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize