hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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