he was CRYING into my vagina
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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