Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
