I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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