Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
