There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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