Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
