I am puke
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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