So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
