he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize