Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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