this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
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threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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