can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize