I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
