just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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